


Love me please / I love you

by transconstellation



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Marvin is selfish and controlling, They really do, Whizzer is a naive asshole, but they fall in love, just give it time, the ending is fluffy angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 10:26:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13715721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transconstellation/pseuds/transconstellation
Summary: Three times Whizzer broke Marvin’s heart and one time he picked up the pieces, taking every part of Marvin with him.Whizzer is trans in my writing.





	Love me please / I love you

It had been fights since the moment they’d met. The passion - the fire - was explosive and heated. More than not all their small bickering ended up in raging fights which in turn ended up in rough sex. One of the things Whizzer loved to use against Marvin was the fact that Marv wasn't as well presented as he was. And dear God how Marvin hated it. “Marvin doesn’t care a wit, Marvin doesn't share my devotion to style,” was a line Marvin heard more times than he’d wanted to. It wasn’t his fault Whizzer was so damn hung up on always looking like he was in a magazine. 

They’d fight, they’d stare each other down, Whizzer would push and Marvin would pull, they’d pretend it wasn’t toxic. When Whizzer’s friends asked about the almost bruises around his wrists, shoulders and neck - which Whizzer said were from hot sex and hickeys - he just laughed and stood up to toast the passion. Sure, it was passionate, but more so it was angry and controlling. Marvin needed to know Whizzer was his and Whizzer had more than just fun making Marvin jealous by going out nightly. Marvin was rich, Whizzer was horny - a perfect match, right? At least they pretended to be, mounting a display of their oh so sincere affection to one another.

The first time Marvin ever told Whizzer he loved him was through a question. No way would he ever be so vulnerable as to be the first one to say ‘I love you’, but he still wanted Whizzer to know. So, the next time Whizzer told him to walk out, he breathed in and gathered his wits. “Leave me,” Whizzer was snide, staring directly at Marvin. “Love me”, Marvin replied quickly, holding Whizzer’s gaze, hoping he’d understand. “Ha! Don’t be a fool,” the nonchalant, condescending laugh Whizzer let out felt like a punch in Marvin’s gut. Maybe, after all, the relationship really was just sex and money for Whizzer. Maybe Marvin wasn’t anything more than just another man Whizzer drowned his boredom in. He could feel his heart shattering, but he just stood taller, throwing another witty response into the game, pretending nothing ever happened.

***

Marvin had gotten overly territorial with Whizzer lately. Whizzer was supposed to always be home, ready to cater to all and any of Marvin’s needs. Whizzer had started to be late for dinner - which he was meant to prepare - and Marvin was so sick of always wondering where Whizzer was. Sure, he’d been the one to cheat on his wife and Whizzer had never indicated he'd cheat on Marvin in any way, but Whizzer was his and that was that. 

One night, when Whizzer came home late once again, Marvin was waiting. “Whizzer’s supposed to always be here,” he started and Whizzer rolled his yes, pushing by Marvin to get into the kitchen. Marvin refused to let it go and continued, “making dinner, set to screw. That’s what pretty boys should do.” Whizzer’s shoulders tensed as Marvin continued speaking. He was used to being called a pretty boy, it was one of the few pet names Marvin gave him that were actually soft. This was the first time he’d used it as an attack against Whizzer and it hurt. It hurt more than Whizzer would ever admit. Marvin knew better than to make Whizzer feel like a housewife and yet chose to use that card. Whizzer made so damn sure he presented masculine, made so damn sure everyone treated him and saw him as Marvin's BOYfriend. And yet, Marvin chose to use the one card Whizzer hated more than anything else. The one card that Marvin knew would hurt more than anything else. Whizzer shut his mouth and stood there, shoulders tense, as Marvin kept speaking as if that hadn't just happened. “Make the dinner and love me.” It was more a command than a request and Whizzer didn’t answer, he just started to gather the ingredients to make the dinner Marvin so desperately demanded.

When Whizzer had friends over later that week, Marvin was sour and quiet - whenever he wasn’t busy dissing Whizzer for whatever reason. Whizzer loved telling the story of how he’d described Marvin when they met and was once again deep into it. “I met this man today, he wasn’t very smart but he was rich,” he told his friends, almost dropping his glass of wine as he laughed. “Oh, which, Marvin, do you prefer I lust for brains or money?” He turned to his lover, batting his eyes like an innocent angel, the grin on his face almost resembling a snarl. “Brains,” Marvin responded immediately, “I’m not so rich, but hell, I’m smart. Love me,” he retorted as he walked to Whizzer, oh-so-sweetly wrapping an arm over his shoulders. “No,” Whizzer laughed and Marvin could feel how his heart sunk once again, ripping apart in Whizzer’s fingers. The second time Marvin uttered the word 'love' and Whizzer immediately shot it down once again. “Love me please or break my heart.” And Whizzer sure as hell chose the latter.

***

The last time Marvin saw Whizzer when they broke up was when Trina sent out the wedding invitations. Whizzer had been invited for a cup of coffee, to say bye to Jason, at Trina’s and Mendel’s new home as Marvin stormed in. Whizzer kept his cool as he buried his heart beneath a mountain of steel, not averting his eyes from Marvin even if it hurt. After all, Marvin had broken up with him, not the other way around. Sure, Whizzer had made Marvin’s life difficult by being so moody and deliberately asshole-ish and arrogant, but he’d still hoped Marvin could take it.

Whizzer watched as Marvin yelled at Trina for falling in love with his psychiatrist. Trina glanced at him over Marvin’s shoulder and they shared a sigh. “How could you ever deny what we had?” Marvin asked, pleaded for Trina to reconsider. “We had fights and games,” she started, but looked at Whizzer as she spoke, apologizing to him as well. “Marvin called us funny names. Marvin always played the clown,” Whizzer chimed in, giving his support to Trina in the situation. He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ back to Trina and she offered a small, exhausted, sad smile in return.

“Do I love him?” Whizzer started suddenly, making Marvin turn his head. Marvin’s eyes spoke volumes of how badly he wanted - needed - Whizzer to say he did. Whizzer broke his own heart just as he did to Marvin for the third time as he continued speaking, his voice steady but full of hurt , “No.” Marvin just stared at him for a moment before turning back to Trina, who just stood there, heart aching as she knew exactly what Whizzer was going through. “I am so dumb,” Marvin finally said to fill the silence. And he was. He was so fucking dumb. He’d sacrificed everything fort his man; a man who never had loved Marvin the same way Marin had loved him. And he broke Marvin’s heart all over again, crushing the tiny flash of hope Marvin's heart had gathered for the last time. Thank God they'd never see each other again. Fuck Whizzer, Marvin chose to think as he straightened his back and turned away.

***

Life had been amazing since that fateful baseball game where Whizzer had walked in to Marvin's surprise. They hadn't seen each other for two years and now, there he was, and Marvin's heart somersaulted. It didn't take long until Whizzer and Marvin were a thing again - and for the first time, they were good together. The toxic fights were gone, replaced by actually friendly, laughter-inducing, full-of-smiles-kind of bickering. They were soft and happy and Marvin just couldn’t believe it. It seemed like life was finally starting to settle, started to stabilize after being so broken for so long. Whizzer had matured and Marvin had seen just how selfish he’d been. They complimented one another, they could be flawed and not fear the other would use it as a weapon. 

That was, until they played racquetball one afternoon, as they often did. Whizzer had been in a bad mood all day and Marvin was sure racquetball would fix it. When Whizzer didn’t fight, didn't even try to win, he knew something was wrong. And as Whizzer collapsed, he dropped his bracket, hurried to his side, and smiled through the pain. “I’m sorry,” Whizzer breathed out and Marvin’s heart ached. “Hey, do you know all I want is you?” Marvin responded and cupped Whizzer's cheeks, trying to stay strong. Whizzer had nothing to apologize for.

From there, life was a tragedy that Marvin prayed would just be a nightmare. But each morning he had to face the truth.

The hospital became their home. Marvin spent every single second he could spare by Whizzer’s side. As he laid next to his lover, cuddling him, holding his hand, Marvin tried to keep himself together. “Who’d believe that we two would end up as lovers?” Marvin asked suddenly and Whizzer tilted his head up, smiling that soft half a smile. “Do you want me to reply?” he asked in return, almost laughing. “Him and me,” Marvin continued all important, this time making Whizzer audibly laugh, but it soon turned into a fit of coughs. Marvin was used to those by now. “You and I, passionately lovers.” Whizzer rolled his eyes at Marvin's sappiness, though the soft smile stayed curled at the corners of his mouth. “Please don’t get morbid,” he groaned, shoving Marvin’s shoulder gently. For a moment, they stayed there, smiling softly, quiet and content.

“Let’s pretend that nothing is awful,” Marvin whispered soon after, eyes serious and pained as he breathed in a trembling breath. “There’s nothing to fear,” Whizzer reassured, stroking circles along Marvin’s hand with his thumb, “just stay right here." Then, Marvin said the words he so desperately wanted to hear in their previous lives, and at the exact same time, Whizzer said them too. 

“I love you.” 

Just like that, Whizzer picked up the pieces of Marvin’s heart he’d shattered so long ago. Just like that, everything was forgiven. Marvin’s face was wet with tears as he realized that he was Whizzer’s. He was Whizzer’s and it wouldn’t be long till the love of his life would lose his light. And that’s when everything Marvin was, everything Marvin had, would die too. Whizzer pieced Marvin’s heart back together, but at the same time, he took every single part of Marvin apart. When Whizzer passed, he took every part of Marvin with him, leaving behind a shell of a man who'd finally learned what it meant to love and to be loved.

**Author's Note:**

> It's awful I know I'm sorry
> 
> Edit: I don’t think Marvin is abusive. I don’t headcanon him as such, the implication just really works here. 
> 
> Originally a collaboration between Eddie (andrewrcnnells on tumblr) and I, they made edits for this based on my idea. Original post: http://transconstellation.tumblr.com/post/169805878380/andrewrcnnells-love-me-please-i-love-you


End file.
